slicing and dicing

So I am going in tomorrow to be (yet again) sliced open and have parts ripped out. Who would think that something so simple would be so scary to have to describe to everyone else. When it was explained to me it was so straight forward and easy going but, when I was trying to explain it to friends and family it sounded so dirty, different, painful, and scary. I went from not worrying about it and it being no big deal to trying to keep myself calm. I have had to sit down and do breathing excercises and listening to music that makes my heart pump and seems to just leach the negative energy out of me, like Hollywood Undead


My Darkest Days

 among others...
Even with all the other crap going on this stuff somehow seems to be able to just relax me, crazy I know but it is what works so who am I to question the logic in it!

I go in to get a partial hysterectomy and some reconstructive surgery to put some muscles back where they are supposed to be in the whole baby making area. After so many kids I guess they got lazy and wandered off. I have been banned from everywhere in my house but my bedroom and adjacent bathroom. When I was first told about it I would be up and about the next day... now I am not allowed to move around for 5 days... and THAT is only because it is christmas eve and we are having a party... at my house. I am allowed to come sit on the couch surrounded by pillows and my kids can't come near me.... UGH! What am I supposed to do with that?!?!?! Well... I guess it is better than nothing and love my family and friends so I will take what I can get!!!

I dream of happier days

DRAMA!!!! UGH!!! How can I leave you behind?!?! There are people in this world who should not be in charge of elderly people and my "sister in law" is one of them. Verbally abusive, pain killer addict, rude, sarcastic, nasty individuals like her need to leave innocent people alone! I have come to the conclusion that she seems to think that I am the one that is causing my grandparents to kick her out of their house. I guess she never thought they would ever get enough backbone to tell her to but after stealing $1000 and all the xanax and loratab out the house that things would just stay the same and she can still do no wrong. UGH! I may not wish her harm but I DO wish she would get a life that doesn't revolve around abusing my grandparents! Or anyone else for that matter.